Even The Good Guys Have The Right To Say “enough “

Good people never close their shop for holidays and they don’t have hours. Nobody rewards us for what they do and they don’t even want it.  Good people are of an unusual, rare material, but their goodness and generosity is the only way they look at life and that is how their heart speaks .

Now, being good doesn’t mean being naive. It means having values ​​and principles to fight for and which at the same time define as people, but the moment we feel vulnerable or used in a selfish way, there is something inside us that starts to fall apart.

It is actually much more complex than we think. When we do things of our own volition, we are guided by our spirit, our spontaneity and our integrity. But when other people manipulate these principles to achieve their purpose for their benefit, instead of blaming them, we blame ourselves. It is a very common attitude.

We give ourselves naive, we think we give too much, we don’t know how to intuit things and people. .. And all this, this negative self-projection does nothing but gradually undermine our self-esteem in a dangerous way. Let’s think about it .

The battlements of our castles

When we perceive the invasion of other people in our personal spaces, we usually adopt the classic defensive strategies to protect ourselves. What’s more, we blame others for this wrong. In the homes of good people, this doesn’t always happen.

Now, we must be clear that we all need a space of control, a personal limit beyond which to raise the barriers in order not to become vulnerable. For this, dear readers, it is important to keep in mind the following tips:

Setting limits will not alienate you from others

Good people have every right to say enough without being called selfish. We know well that those around us are “used” to the fact that we always say yes to them, that we are always available and that we always receive them with a smile.

  • Setting limits will help you get to know yourself and others better. You must be able to recognize your limit point and “adapt” to those of others.
  • When limits are set, relationships will be healthier.
  • Furthermore, you will have a deeper knowledge of yourself.

Love also needs limits

If anyone thinks otherwise, they are wrong. There is no dimension that needs more defined limits than love, affective relationships, family or friendship. In reality, there will be no kinder and more complicit way than to be able to say “no” in peace, without worrying that the other person feels offended or annoyed.

Loving someone, be it a partner, a friend or a family member, means being able to act freely in accordance with our principles, knowing that they will always be respected.

Saying “no” won’t make you look like a bad person

Before convincing others, be concerned with convincing yourself. It is necessary to be able to say “enough”, aloud and with conviction, without being ashamed or feeling bad. You have to think that if day after day you give in to what they ask of you, in reality they end up stealing all your energy, self-esteem and you turn into people you are not.

There will come a time when you really want to help someone and it will be impossible for you. You will have no strength, no spirit and, even worse, you will not believe in yourself. You must be clear about this: good people have the right to say “enough”. This will help you better understand who you are, what matters to you and, at the same time, you will show it to others.

It is important to draw an imaginary line between you and others

Building barriers around it is not like creating overnight a punishment line for those who cross it, where you remain isolated and protected at the same time. Indeed, quite the opposite …

All of this will give you the confidence that you are acting with integrity to build positive relationships. In this way, those who really love you will understand you, because good people, even if they don’t want anything in return, need reciprocity and, above all, to be respected. Never forget that .

Images courtesy of Karen Jones Lee, Miranda Klark, and Art Graphic Swit.

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