Even the strongest person gets tired of being hurt, boycotted and manipulated, because the strong heart is neither a cold heart nor immune to wickedness or self-interested affection. We all have limits, but the people used to “resist” are the ones who suffer the most, the ones who take the longest time to react.
One thing that is often misconceived is that the emotionally strong person knows how to control their feelings. Nowadays, despite the ease with which we handle terms and expressions associated with the so-called “emotional intelligence”, we still believe in wrong concepts, for example we are convinced that emotion is the opposite of reason.
When we imagine a strong heart, we almost immediately visualize a person protected by a heavy armor, someone who manages to keep his mind clear and gaze fixed to control the complex world of affections and feelings, sometimes too painful and demanding. However, a strong person doesn’t always have this kind of psychological architecture.
Resistance, or emotional strength, often responds to a personal compromise a person makes with others. It means showing solidity when there is to help someone in difficulty, trying to be useful, close. They are profiles that rise like the mast of a ship on a stormy night, they are the pillar on which everyone leans, the rock that everyone treads on to cross a river.
They look strong, until one day they break or just get tired. We invite you to reflect on the subject.
The heart tired of being strong
Many times, when a person goes to therapy looking for help, the first thing they reveal is that they are tired. She feels a tiredness she has never felt before, she is exasperated, exhausted and with the clear feeling of having reached the limit of her strength. Medical tests do not reveal any health problems, however this person has lost his vitality.
One thing we should be clear about about psychological help or psychotherapy is that it is not only required for unstable personalities, profiles with concrete clinical needs, or patients who lack adequate strategies to manage emotions and problems.
Sometimes psychotherapy is also useful for people who are aware that they have exceeded their stress level. Every day they put in place mechanisms to deal with the situation, they know mindfulness and other techniques that they have tried to put into practice without any benefit. Their commitment and ability to take care of themselves are now so diluted by fatigue that these people no longer recognize themselves in front of the mirror. But I was such a strong person! What happened to me?
Their brains said enough. If we delve into their personal realities a little, we realize that they have a great load of responsibility on their shoulders, on their hearts. In reality, more than strong people, they are personalities used to practicing extreme and unhealthy resistance, where there is no self-protection.
They are women and men used to silencing their needs to show strength and, therefore, to be that constant and eternal light for others. However, they often receive nothing in return but bitterness, selfishness and loneliness.
Simple tips for people tired of being strong
Let’s imagine a treadmill for a moment. The person who needs to be strong is used to a very high pace of speed and need. She feels proud of herself, hers is a strong heart, she thinks she will be able to maintain this rhythm throughout her life.
However, sooner or later, cramps, pain and fatigue come. The treadmill continues to move with the same intensity, the others who are around continue unperturbed with their requests and needs, without noticing the person’s discomfort, be it a family member, partner, friend, colleague. Our protagonist, however, has reached the limit and does not know how to stop that treadmill, that destructive spiral.
What should we do in this case? Decrease the pace, reduce the intensity? Absolutely not. The best thing to do in such a situation is to stop: the heart needs to recover.
It’s time to take care of yourself
You don’t need to take a breath. You need to be strong for yourself, and not just for others, and therefore you must make changes, take the path of change in a harmonious, conscious and healthy way.
Evaluate the following proposals for a few minutes:
- Renounce conflicts, problems or situations that have no solution. You have already wasted a lot of time and energy on things or people that were worth it for.
- Don’t expect people to act like you would. It is a cause of great and unbearable frustration.
- Begin to become aware of your needs, listen to them every day and give them priority.
Above all, remember one thing: you are not a hero. Your function is not to make the impossible possible, you are not wizards or architects of bridges where there are no rivers. You cannot even save the unsavable or give happiness to those who do not want to know about cheerfulness, respect or reciprocity.
Learn to take care of yourself emotionally, learn to be strong for yourself .
Images courtesy of Sasha Salmina