Five Secrets To Building Resilience

Five secrets to building resilience

The truth is, it wouldn’t hurt to be able to go to the pharmacy and buy a few resilience tablets. One a day would be enough not only to see ourselves better in front of the mirror, but also to inject ourselves with that energy necessary to learn to respond to adversity  or simply to that daily stress sometimes caused by work or the noise of life, always full of aspects. beautiful and ugly.

In recent years, resilience has been gaining some weight in the social sciences and in the field of mental health. In reality it is a concept coined by physics and it is about the ability of some materials to recover their original state in certain circumstances that can deform them and even fragment them.

How to apply this property in the human and psychological field? Maybe people can also return to their original state despite losses, betrayals or failures?

Actually no, we will never be able to go back to that state, to that era in which we were free from everything and in which we had not yet known the challenges of life; but  resilience can teach us not only to learn from these effects, but also to face them and positively come out of rejection, humiliation or any negative situation that we have all certainly had to experience.

1. Everyone can overcome adversity

For sure you are already aware of some cases: children who grew up in unfavorable family contexts or in families with serious personal problems (abuse, alcoholism, poverty).

Not all people who have faced these situations in their childhood have reached adulthood showing the psychological effects of such a dark past. There are those who have managed to overcome adversity to develop not only their survival instincts, but also that of hope, adaptation, temperance and good self-esteem.

How is it possible?

We must learn to separate the contexts from the inner reality. Do you deserve a future of despair and suffering? Aren’t you worth as much or more than someone else? Why not learn to be happy by leaving the past behind? Having lived in darkness, one already knows too much about darkness to be able to find the strength to face it.

2. Learn to develop your emotional competence

People who develop resilience adequately are emotionally competent, but what does that mean? It means they have enough autonomy to decide what is right or wrong for them. It means that they have good self-esteem and that they know what they want.

People with a disposition to resilience know what it means to experience a traumatic or complex event in which you have to be strong to survive, to let the days go by and not fear the future. You must know that we are all sufficiently capable of coping with adversity, of imposing ourselves and coming out of it with our heads held high.

Maybe you don’t deserve it?

3. The path to resilience

How to be able to access this path from which to come out stronger? First of all, we must bear in mind one aspect: resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary, that is, we can all develop it. Being resilient absolutely does not mean being “immune” to pain, anguish and worries, quite the contrary. Emotional pain must be accepted and understood.

We need to be realistic about what happens to us, having a positive view of ourselves. Knowing how to manage emotions by accepting pain, but setting goals and objectives for tomorrow. Never lose hope. Change is part of our life and we must accept it because all this will make us grow as people, learning to be stronger.

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