There are people and relationships that make us waste time, moments of precious life whose importance becomes clear only in critical moments. Wasting time means letting go of something that will never come back. Each of us, on average, lives about 27,000 days, not counting the time we use to sleep and the first few years of life that we don’t remember.
Why do we get involved in relationships that waste our time ? Why do we share minutes, days or years with people who give us nothing? Finding the answer to these questions is complex, and to do so it is necessary to analyze the personal history of each and its meaning.
Still, we don’t go into insipid relationships or relationships that make us waste time for the fun of it. It is not a question of being selfish people, but healthy in behaviors and in relating to others. We do not miss the opportunity to give love and receive it from someone we really care about.
Relationships that waste our time are a source of suffering
There are people who once filled us with joy but now they are consuming our time unnecessarily. We know that life changes and that it is a cyclical path, which as such must be accepted and lived. We must put an end to unnecessary agonies before hitting bottom.
Even if we would like to keep the appearance, the feelings do not deceive. Accumulated frustration and disappointments turn into a negative mood towards the other person. They make us unable to give caresses or hugs, to pay a compliment or to receive it, sometimes even to pretend smiles that, spontaneously, would not come.
Relationships need to be healed, but there’s a big difference between maintaining a good relationship and trying to force a bad, meaningless one. When you become incompatible with a person, maintaining the relationship is a serious waste of time.
Every relationship we live has a very specific purpose: some serve to bring out the best in us, others the worst. Most, they leave us indifferent. The important thing is not to let anyone influence the ideal we have on relationships or imprison our heart.
A relationship that didn’t waste our time right away
One of the most difficult aspects of human relationships is figuring out when to step back, when to step away from a company, understanding that it is better to be alone than to have a comfortable relationship.
But having wasted your time doesn’t mean you can’t make up for it. The future holds for us people who will make us recover all the past time made up of reproaches, insecurity and lack of trust.
It is time to stop spending minutes, days and years in a relationship that makes our existence meaningless. The time has come to say goodbye when you don’t miss them anymore, when the good times spent together are clouded with a feeling of failure and disappointment. Wasting time means sharing life with someone we don’t appreciate.
Signs that indicate the beginning of the end
Understanding that a relationship is broken is not difficult; the tricky part is dealing with this awareness. How many times have we been forced to go on a date without feeling like it, to attend a meeting with our head elsewhere, to embark on a journey just wishing it would end. These are clear signs that something is wrong.
How to distance yourself without hurting yourself, without badly destroying every residue of the relationship built together? It is difficult, but necessary. Sometimes, just thinking about it makes us feel an immediate sense of guilt.
You signal that something is wrong
There are objective indicators that can make us think and push us to make a decision. Some of the clearest and most painful are:
- Your presence seems to annoy the other person. The way you express yourself, have your say or even eat is annoying. You are no longer at ease but always on alert.
- He questions you in the presence of others. Pull personal arguments out of thin air, focusing on you the attention of people who shouldn’t be involved in personal, intimate, personal conversations.
- When you are not with your partner you do not feel comfortable, you fear that he may talk about you to others and not in positive terms.
- It does not advise you, it does not console you: it evaluates you, ridicules you or even “scolds” you for anything.
- No program proposed by you seems good to him.
- Even without arguing or openly getting angry, the air around you is charged to the point that it seems to explode.
- His gaze is no longer sweet, close, soothing. Now it looks at you as if expecting who knows what from you. His gaze has become an accusatory, blank stare. He does not express anything with his eyes.
- To sum up: your relationship is no longer clear but full of murky torrents that weigh you down, making you feel aggressive, sad, tense and betrayed.
All of these aspects are nothing more than a demonstration that your relationship is wasting your time. Whether you are friends, cousins, sisters, partners or mothers, emotional distancing will still be painful.
But don’t forget that no matter how much it hurts to interrupt the relationship, you will breathe freely again in the future. The more you postpone that moment, the worse it is.
Someone will come to take that place
Once the initial suffering has been overcome, one day the right person will arrive in your life, the one who will make you reborn and in whom you will find true support, without ulterior motives. That person who will give you light and whom you can call a friend, colleague or partner.
Then, when you are finally free to be yourself, you will know that you are not wasting your time. When your face is lost in smiles and you will be able to discuss freely, without rancor.
Don’t give up on this opportunity. We all have the right to wait and live in the hope of finding someone really important.
If you have “wasted time” with someone, you have already won by being able to close that story. Now comes the most beautiful: recover it, loving and loving yourselves. And if it ends badly again, don’t delay like last time, it’s the normal cycle of life.