How To Understand If We Can Trust A Person

We are often convinced that we have a “sixth sense” that helps us understand if we can trust a person. Sometimes, however, this internal sensor fails dramatically. And then the lies begin, the sudden disappointment and even the betrayal behind; all of this leaves a wound that is difficult to erase.
How to understand if we can trust a person

How to understand if we can trust a person? Friedrich Nietzsche said that sometimes, more than falsehood, it hurts us to realize that after a negative experience it will be very difficult to believe again in others . It is enough that they let us down once to go forever with lead feet. We feel hurt because they have deprived us of trust in others. At the same time, it is normal to blame ourselves.

Our mind begins to wonder: “how could I have been so naive?”, “How did I not notice it?”, “What is wrong with me, why do I keep making such big errors of evaluation?”. Before torturing ourselves with this type of question, we need to be clear about one thing: we are made to trust others; it’s a biological feature and that’s how our brain wants it.

Trust is the social glue of the human being. If it did not exist, we would be in a constant state of alert, imagining being injured at the first opportunity. We need to trust to live in balance : not doing so is a mistake. In reality, the fault lies with those who betray.

Couple smiling as they walk up the stairs.

How to understand if we can trust a person

The only way to know if we can trust a person is to trust. This advice may seem unusual. Trusting is a “do ut des”, a game in which everyone, at some point, has to take risks if they want to build solid friendships and happy emotional relationships.

However, it is advisable to be cautious and cautious. The ideal is to consider trust as a treasure chest full of precious treasures. When we meet someone, it’s not fair to offer all of their content. What you have to do, however, is to entrust him with some small object to be able to evaluate.

We will proceed gradually, seeing how he reacts, how he behaves and how he responds in certain situations. Let’s see what are the strategies to understand if we can trust a person.

Be objective and don’t get carried away by the first impression

According to a study conducted at the University of New York and Darkmouth, the area of ​​the brain in charge of assessing whether someone is trustworthy or not is the amygdala. After a facial analysis, we decide whether that person may represent a danger or if, on the contrary, it is worth forging a bond.

Evidently, the brain is unable to make a completely reliable assessment through this mechanism. Our faces are not QR codes with detailed data. While it is advisable to listen to our instincts or our sixth sense, let’s stick to objective facts. To those we will analyze below.

Observe how the person speaks and how he treats others

If you want to know someone’s character, listen to how he talks about others in their absence. There are those who do not hesitate to criticize the people who are part of their inner circle (friends, family, partners).

Those who do not find it difficult to criticize and discredit the absent will certainly do the same with us when in the company of others. Don’t forget to also observe the way he treats others, as it is a clear indication of his personality.

How to understand if we can trust a person: consistency and stability

Some people not only awaken our confidence, they are worthy of it. These are individuals who are consistent with what they say, do, think and defend. They always remain the same, they do not change under any circumstance or moment.

They have clear values, which makes things easier because we know what to expect from them. They do not have a double face or hidden interests, they are authentic in every gesture and attitude.

He remembers our words, he worries and asks nothing in return

To know if we can trust a person we should evaluate an elementary value: his ability to make us feel considered, to remember our words, distinguishing the important things from the irrelevant ones.

When a person shows interest in us, he pays attention to the small and large details and shows it to us sincerely. In these cases we are certainly in front of a person we can trust.

Two friends and how to understand if we can trust a person.

Propensity to feel guilty

This fact is interesting and worth taking into account. According to some research, people prone to feeling guilty have a strong sense of responsibility and are therefore very trustworthy. Let’s analyze this data in detail to understand it better.

  • According to Emma Levine, a professor at the University of Chicago, until recently, trustworthiness was associated with kindness, humility and generosity.
  • Today we have one more element, a sure clue that tells us that it is possible to trust a person: the sense of guilt.
  • Those who know and appreciate respect and trust worry and feel guilty just at the thought of being able to offend or hurt the other. His behavior, therefore, will be oriented to take care of the relationship, to protect it.
  • On the contrary, people who do not feel guilty about anything because they lack empathy are to be avoided.

These are some factors to consider. Those who take this into account will always find people of value and in which to place their most precious treasure: trust.

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