I’m Not There For Anyone, I Need Me

I'm not there for anyone, I need me

Today I am not there for anyone, because I need me. However, many people don’t understand this choice. “Antisocial”, “strange”, “selfish” are some of the words that I had to listen to and that questioned my decision to take refuge in myself.

Turning off the cell phone, spending time alone, spending a whole day without going out … ultimately, closing the doors to everyone and embracing time in solitude are behaviors that not everyone understands. Although we are in the age of connection and the constant request for availability, I need to disconnect to be able to take care of myself and breathe the scent of freedom.

I’ve reached the limit, I need me

More than I would like, frustration appears in my life along with short temper and impatience. It is as if you remain in a condition of constant tension. I don’t know where it comes from and, therefore, I don’t know how I can get rid of it. However, when I stop to analyze the situation, I find that they are warning signs that indicate that I need to slow down. I don’t sleep well now, even though I sleep 8 hours a night.

Sometimes they are signs of frustration that scream at me that I have given too much, to the point of forgetting to prioritize myself. Others are signs of short temper that have the power to make me lose my temper at even the slightest trifle and that are nothing more than a hint of my saturation. Still others, perhaps, are signs of apathy that lead me to live on autopilot and that reflect how depressed I am under the weight of the responsibilities that I have taken on.

The fact is that when all these signs manifest and I reach the limit, a force awakens within me that struggles to get me out of this situation. Maybe it would be easier not to go that far, but sometimes I refuse to see what’s going on. Only the signals previously described are able to make me wake up and show me that there are many moments in which I need me.

Woman seeing herself at the window

Being alone doesn’t make me a selfish person

I need me and I know that this does not make me a selfish person, despite the fact that society and especially those around me sometimes make me doubt this and, in the end, I end up putting myself in the background. When I don’t, however, I know that I am not acting according to my wishes, but according to what others expect of me.

Giving yourself priority is frowned upon and when you do, you run the risk of being accused of being a self-centered person. Being alone with yourself can even make others believe they are refusing contact with them. They do not understand that we are always connected by participating in social events, taking care of small tasks, listening, supporting others in their problems … they do not understand that forgetting about oneself is a weak favor to self-esteem and well-being that in the long run affects relationships.

Woman with branches and bush

Taking time is practicing self-love

All this takes me to the limit over time, because it steals my energy. An energy that I have to recover by spending time alone, without others having to judge me for this. I need to take care of myself, love myself and meet my needs. Ultimately, I need to practice self-love to be well.

Furthermore, when I need me and I allow myself it, I realize that being with myself not only recharges me, but also allows me to restore my self-control and improve my relationships. Even if it may seem counterintuitive, by giving myself time, I am able to relativize the daily frictions and small disputes that I sometimes label as very serious and that, in reality, are nonsense.

And my brain can disconnect, which my neurons certainly appreciate. Taking time alone helps me to clear my head and think more clearly. However, what I like most and benefit most from is being able to connect with myself. Establish this connection with my inner “I” to get to know myself better, to know what I want and how I am.

Herons flying around the moon

In this way, when I feel exhausted or notice that I am not enjoying life, I move away from the daily hustle and bustle and allow myself time to be with me. And if it is very difficult for me, I try with a few minutes or an hour a day.

We don’t always have to devote all of our time to others or to other responsibilities. We are also important. If we don’t take care of ourselves, if we don’t prioritize ourselves, who will?

Images courtesy of Akira Kusaka

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