In places inhabited by lies disguised as sweet hypocrisy, sincerity is the great misunderstanding. It is as if communicating clearly were a crime, an audacity for those who take off their armor and, with great respect, are able to put their heart and truth in their mouth in front of them.
It’s not easy. Today there are many sociologists and analysts who define a large part of the population as a passive entity, as a simple witness to what happens in the world and is announced on television. Hypocrisy reigns in many political spheres, in certain work scenarios and even in the intimacy of our homes without any reaction on our part.
There are those who opt for silence and for that presumed passivity simply because of tiredness. We already know the secrets of that family member, boss or co-worker. We know that it is not good to defend equality, but within oneself to despise the fact that others have the same rights and the same opportunities.
Without fear of making a mistake, we could say that there is a much darker, darker and more dangerous dimension than the lie: hypocrisy. It is nothing more than a cryptic lack of honesty, where one hides his personality while flaunting an unassailable nobility of soul.
We are sure that you too know more than one person with these characteristics, so we invite you to deepen the subject in order to find the most suitable strategies to react.
We regard hypocrisy as normal without realizing it
As children we are taught that the truth is right and that lying is a habit that is best not to acquire. They initiate us into a practice of which sooner or later we discover sinuous shades. As Lawrence Kohlberg explains in his theory of moral development, it is in the second phase, the one called “conventional morality”, that the 10-13 year old child develops a principle of conscience about the sense of justice, revealing even the contradictions of the adults themselves.
They ask us for sincerity, but many are offended if we tell the truth. Little by little we find ourselves in situations where we ask ourselves what is the best thing to do: to offend with sincerity or to lie out of simple education. Over time we accept the fact that hypocrisy reigns supreme and that it initiates a false coexistence, a coexistence in which to exhibit glorious moral principles and beautiful ideologies that often hide a lack of courage or simple disinterest in others.
Hypocrisy is fully institutionalized in our society, we have normalized it. However, and this is a curious fact, most of us have an always-on radar that knows how to spot it. We see it in politicians, in some of our family members or work colleagues and, yet, we do not react to it. In some ways, we are aware that this is a nearly lost battle: it is a difficult undertaking to change someone who is not even honest with themselves.
Falsehood can be overcome with an authentic attitude
There are different types of hypocrisy and self-righteous people. There are those that show great attributes to hide obscure moral principles: racism, machismo, a retrograde mentality. However, the most common type of falsehood is that of those who want to be accepted and praised, those who defend red today and green tomorrow and blue the day after tomorrow depending on the scenario in which they find themselves.
Constantly depending on the opinion of others makes our self-esteem vulnerable and prevents us from carrying out that self-evaluation by which to live in accordance with our values, regardless of whether they correspond to those of others.
Now let’s see how we should deal with people used to living in the realm of hypocrisy.
How to react in the face of hypocrisy
Hypocrisy is not won, it is faced. As we have already anticipated, changing the hypocrite is a losing battle, but what we can do is lead by example, show ourselves authentic and deactivate the influence of others on us.
- Remember, dear readers, that the only expectations you need to meet are your own. What the hypocrite advises you with its false values is less important than the dust that accumulates on the shelves of your library.
- Hypocrites always contradict each other. When you understand this, do not attack them and do not start arguing: they will use a thousand arguments to justify themselves. Just limit yourself to pointing out the contradiction, briefly and concisely.
- If you are forced to deal with a self-righteous person every day, keep in mind that they may sabotage you very often. He will judge your actions and label you. If this person sees you as a mirror reflecting what they don’t like, one of the options for putting an end to their discomfort will be to get rid of the mirror, which is you.
Always dialogue with yourself to remind yourself of who you are, what your values and strengths are. What the hypocrite says, thinks or does must have no value. It is only air, only the breath of a cowardly puppet who has made falsehood his kingdom of play.
And that sooner or later it will fall.
Images courtesy of Anne-Julie-Aubry