It Is Important To Have Someone Around When Everything Falls Apart

It is important to have someone around when everything falls apart

How important it is to have someone around when everything goes downhill!  One last arm, one last hand, fingers, skin when all the weight we carry makes the vertebrae of our back creak. Those moments in which we would be willing to make a pact with the devil, because, after all, we think that if there is anything that comes close to misery, it is us.

Mere mortals, more deadly than ever. It is not about having someone to bring us back to the surface, but to slow down our fall. Let him appear suddenly and say, “I’m all yours, I’m all yours. You have my five senses. The touch to embrace you, the hearing to listen, the teeth to bite, the soul to caress, the hope to return to the surface. Like a sketchbook still to be colored ”.

Three types of solitude for those who do not seek it

There are three types of loneliness for those who do not seek it. We all know the first form of loneliness. It occurs when we are surrounded by many people and we have the feeling that we are not in connection with any one. In the same way, we do not feel the air that ruffles our hair or the sun that makes us close our eyes, a disguised but unconscious, protective gesture.

This kind of loneliness usually disappears  when many people disappear and only the important ones remain. When the party is over and you need to clean up, tidy up. Stacking glasses, collecting leftover food and bottles of soft drinks whose flavor has now altered. When the music dies down, we realize how much we missed the absence of meaningless, empty vibrations.

The loneliness of the first, the last and those who “do their own thing”

There is a second type of loneliness and that is what those who leave first or last feel. Those who work on a long and confused project, sometimes illuminated only by faith. This loneliness makes us strong and tests our limits. It is about doing something without knowing how we were able to do it. A mystery that is part of the idiosyncrasy of life, sometimes disconcerting.

We complete the sketchbook with our self-love. It will be our last testimony and will constitute the invisible roots for other people that anchor us to life. Sometimes we have counted a few, but the feeling is so particular that we have the feeling that no one can understand it, simply because they have not lived it, because they have not experienced it.

The worst loneliness

The last kind of loneliness is the worst, it’s the one where we look around and see no one. It means having the feeling that people disappear as we move forward, as we descend. Until the moment when there is no one, but we continue to go down.

We would like to believe that it is a game, to have the certainty that we will then return to the surface as when we were playing as children and the fun consisted in resisting for a long time without breathing. Resist, do not breathe, but now it’s not just the lungs that hurt… So we wonder if we will really come back to the surface. There is a difference between knowing that you are expendable and knowing that no one will miss us.

It is no longer fun. We open our eyes, but we don’t see the light. Only shadows, smaller and smaller, dominate us. We have the feeling of being more and more distant and we scream in a transformed language, different from that of others. We begin to think that if before it was difficult to make ourselves understood, now it is even impossible. An impossible so possible now.

We close our fists and grab the water, as if between our fingers it could turn into a real rope. And sometimes someone holds us back, surprises us and we find faith again. We feel stupid for having lost it, for underestimating distance, but beware, because there are few comforting feelings like feeling important to someone. And that’s enough to change the whole script.

Otherwise, nobody does.

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