If you often ask yourself the reason for your actions and do not have a logical explanation or you usually repent immediately afterwards, perhaps you should learn to control the impulses that lead you to act in a certain way.
Doing something without thinking can have quite serious consequences. The steps you take without looking, the words you say without thinking about the weight they will have for others luckily have a solution. Like everything in life! We suggest you work hard to curb your impulsiveness and relate better to others and be calmer with yourself.
Controlling impulses is more than asking for forgiveness
You are certainly so used to saying “I’m sorry” that these words no longer make sense to you or you can’t even express your repentance when you have hurt the feelings of others. Asking yourself for forgiveness for being wrong is not even considered!
Impulsivity can be positive or negative, it all depends on the situation. For example, if you are shy and you invite a girl you like out to go out and she accepts, congratulations! If, on the other hand, because of your impulses you say horrible things to your partner and this causes discussion or breakup, it stops being a skill and becomes a problem.
It doesn’t mean that you can’t tell others what you think or feel, but many times our words come out of the mouth before the brain can process them. When things don’t go as you thought and your words hurt those in front of you, inconveniences can arise.
Tips for controlling impulses
As a first measure you need to determine if you are a bit impulsive person or if you are not in control of the situation. To understand this, you have to observe yourself in different situations.
How do you respond to certain stimuli, for example to a sign that says “buy it now”? If your first thought is to shell out a large amount of money to buy an item you don’t need, then the impulsiveness is stronger than you.
If you take a few minutes, take another walk around the store and think about it, you will realize that you need this money to pay taxes or buy a new pair of shoes for your child.
The impulsive voice that makes you act a certain way may scream, but if you don’t allow it to change your life, it doesn’t matter how loud it is. You must be the one to take the reins of the situation every time this desire to do something without thinking makes an effort of you.
A good technique for putting aside impulsiveness is to analyze the consequences of your actions or words. Make the phrase “I have to think about it better” your motto. This way, it will be much easier to make the right or, at least, more sensible decisions.
Calmly, without pressure and with a meticulous analysis of the pros and cons of each decision, everything will be easier. It sure is difficult and takes time, but when you start noticing the results, you will realize that it was worth it.
Dissatisfaction leads to impulsiveness
In the society we live in , visual stimuli and advertising make us think that if we don’t have everything we want, we’re not happy. As if a new pair of shoes or an expensive bag are the cure for depression (but we’ll cover this in another article).
Dissatisfaction can cause impulsiveness and in turn cost you dearly… when you go shopping (or even better before leaving home), ask yourself if you really want or need that nice pair of pants you saw in the window. Also answer the question “What do I have to give up to buy them?”.
The same can be helpful when you are on the verge of saying something wrong. Do I need to say more than enough to say? Is it good that others hear from my mouth what I am about to say?
Of course we don’t always have to shut up and agree to everything, but perhaps if we think more about our sentences, the repercussions will be less drastic. Instead of saying “you were wrong in everything”, opt for “maybe there are things you could improve”. You will almost say the same, but with a different attitude!