It is said that life is short, that it passes in the blink of an eye and that when we realize it, we are already experiencing more memories than what happens around us.
The truth is that, rather than fear this fleetingness of our existence, what really frightens us are not mistakes or falls, even less the times we have lost our way. What is scary is a life not lived, or even better having let our days fit in with other people’s plans and dreams.
Sometimes we take a long time to realize that the life we lead does not make us happy. At the beginning we let ourselves be carried away, perhaps out of love, perhaps out of hopes and ambitions that little by little crumble in the form of falsehood, of something that they once promised us, but never came about.
There are many ways in which life oxidizes alongside other people. Sometimes they are family, other couples… however, it is something we must not allow.
Because few things are as personal and distinctive as the way we really want to live and no one has to put puppet patterns, anchors and strings to lead us on their personal journey.
If you live the life of others, you will stop being yourself
You are your values, your dreams of yesterday and your desires of the present. You are your choices, your ambitions of tomorrow and your sadness of the evening. You are what you have achieved and what remains for you to achieve. How, then, to allow others to blur your identity to wear your shoes without permission?
It is necessary to go through this path, called life, in the simplest way possible: in freedom, without burdens in the heart and without noise in the mind.
We must not be afraid of life, we must enjoy it with joy and fullness. If you don’t feel any of this right now, if when you open your eyes in the morning, you see yourself scared by a range of negative emotions, maybe you are not living the life you want. Perhaps you are in the scenario that others have created for you.
When your days are marked by another person’s personal universe.
There are those who assume, without knowing very well why, the role of regent in a couple relationship. The other person cannot help but circle around her like a satellite around a planet.
In the beginning, this is done out of love, because we have certain illusions and because for some time we are unable to see the details that characterize a not very functional reality.
- There are those who need to be in control as well as those who fear that at the slightest problem their house of cards will collapse.
- The obsessive need for control actually hides a low self-esteem that turns into authority and inflexibility. Respecting the will of the other and his personal spaces presupposes running the risk of losing that person.
- Being the one who dictates the decisions, the one who chooses, the one who accepts or rejects day after day offers reinforcements to a low self-esteem unable to show reciprocity towards others.
The full, authentic and happy life does not seek prisoners: no one belongs to anyone
It is not a question of maintaining a life free of bonds, relationships, important people by our side. It is a question of being aware that we do not have to consider anything as our priority. No person belongs to anyone.
Since I do not belong to you and you do not belong to me, I freely choose you to walk hand in hand, so that we can both be architects and creators of our own happiness.
Since I am aware of the fact that we are all born free and have the full right to choose our way of life, I respect your choices, your values and your way of thinking.
For this reason, I strive every day to harmonize my personal spaces with the common space that we both share.
I get rid of this life that others had created for me
There are times when family contexts, with possessive mothers and fathers, delineate these environments in which we end up living alien lives created by others. On the other hand, emotional and couple relationships are those common areas in which these vital dependencies and compulsions occur most.
- To live a happy and full life, we should not “bond” to one or more people. It is better to anchor ourselves to a goal: happiness, because this goal will allow us to identify who deserves us and who does not. And whoever makes you suffer does not deserve you.