Maybe, When You Come Back, I’ll Be Gone

Maybe, when you come back, I won't be there anymore

Maybe when you come back, I won’t be there anymore. All couples experience critical moments, in which they need a break, a moment of reflection to know if the relationship should continue or if it would be better to break up for the good of both. Arguments, being forced to leave for work reasons and other problems can affect this decision. The couple relationship is continually put to the test, must overcome various obstacles.

But what happens if we decide to leave ? The relationship must necessarily pass the test of abandonment, one in which one of the two leaves and the other waits, or not?

“Tomorrow does not count, but today. Today we are here, tomorrow, perhaps, we will already be gone ”.

(Félix Lope de Vega y Carpio)

Saying goodbye is difficult, but forgetting is even more difficult

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When one of the two decides to leave, for whatever reason, he may, sooner or later, regret it. Let’s say that sometimes it is necessary to take time for yourself, but this can be good or bad. One thing that absolutely cannot be done is to say goodbye and expect the other person to stay there, waiting. Maybe it says ” I’ll wait for you “, but, after all, think about it: you are the one who said goodbye and you don’t have to be selfish.

Everyone sometimes experiences the fear of abandonment. It may be that this fear of being alone or losing what you love most is due to a past trauma. It is the aforementioned emotional attachment which, if we want to be happy, we should avoid.

However, if a person who is afraid of abandonment is actually abandoned, different situations can arise. First, the one who waits can turn his grief into a profound delusion. This disappointment will lead him to see who left him with eyes of anger and criticism.

Resentment is not good, but if you have decided to leave someone to fend for themselves, it is normal for you to see resentment in them when you return. You didn’t stay, you left. Put yourself in her shoes: the person who was left without you had to struggle with a pain that forced her to try to forget you. A very difficult thing to do but, given the time that has passed, inevitable.

For this reason, coming back and wanting to meet again the same person you left may mean asking too much. It is a reality that exists only in your mind, not at all practicable.

I learned to live without you

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People who have been abandoned by their partner who told them they need time and left have at some point learned to live without him; they have overcome the attachment and suffering of no longer having their loved one next to them. All this can be overcome, even if at first it seems that the world is collapsing on us.

For this reason, it would be selfish to think of finding the same person you left behind, because they have had to deal with the pain you caused them. You will probably no longer have a chance and you will find a large wall erected in front of you, because of you, your departure and your unexpected return.

Sometimes, when our partner leaves, we don’t know if he will return. We have to learn to live as if he / she never comes back. If you ever happen to have to distance yourself from your partner for any reason, don’t expect to find him unchanged when you return. Maybe he even rebuilt his life, and then you would be suffering.

“If you leave, I will not wait for your return; take the sighs, the laughter, the kisses. If you go away, leaving me alone in the middle of a road, take the moon too, which was an accomplice to a love “.

(Jeiko Jiménez)

Nobody owns anyone and nobody has rights over others. The power lies in the choices that will mark our future and change our present. We cannot chain anyone to our life, nor can we ask them to wait for us, because, if we leave, who knows what can happen.

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We have moved away and we are convinced that that person remains there waiting for us and if this person is also convinced of our return, which does not happen? Everything you do will have pros and cons, everything has consequences.

Images courtesy of Cathy Delanssay

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