Stingy People And Their Inner Prison

Stingy people and their inner prison

We all know them, even if they try to go unnoticed. They are those people who never have cash with them, who go to the bathroom when the time comes to pay the bill or who are able to go to the most unlikely places to get a discount. Stingy people are not easy to recognize. Many think that wanting to save so much is no problem.

In psychology, there is a lot of talk about the pathologies of excess: eating too much, drinking too much, spending too much … However, the pathologies by default sometimes appear disguised: those who eat less are on a diet, those who do not play are serious and who spends little is thrifty.

Despite this, it is clear that “too much” is never an adjective with a positive connotation. There is a pathological way of saving that is not only limited to money or material goods, but which also touches deeper aspects of the personality.

Characteristics of stingy people

street lamp man

The stingy, or pathological saver, is recognized because he avoids spending money that he could easily use, without this causing him any problems. They usually have copious incomes and stable jobs. If you ask them, they tell you that their economic position is good precisely because they have made an effort to save and not spend on nonsense.

He is the kind of person who wears the same clothes for years to save money. They don’t use their phones, turn off all the lights and buy the cheapest products at the supermarket, even if they are not of good quality.

They need a very special occasion for someone to be invited to dinner. If they buy a gift, they buy it on sale and, sometimes, they are even able to put aside the items that are given to them and then give them to someone else and thus avoid the expense.

The distinguishing feature of the pathological saver is the fact that his being cautious with expenses does not come from an objective motive. It’s not about lack of money or wanting to make an investment.

They set aside money for the sole reason of putting it aside,  to develop projects that they will never complete, to be able to face any “difficult times”, even if no time is too difficult to convince them to spend.

Material miser, emotional miser

The worst part is that people who are stingy aren’t just with money. They are also stingy with their emotions, affection and the use of their life energy.

Just as they do with material objects, they are not generous in regards to their feelings towards others or what makes them happy either. Stingy people keep everything they can for themselves and, in this regard, they are not prudent people, but trapped in an inner prison.

Avarice: a structure of character

brain made of money

It is very difficult to live with or establish a deep and lasting bond with a stingy person. Just as they think they have to protect their “savings” from the siren songs of the market, they also believe they can be “fooled” by others on an emotional level.

There are situations that are really hard to believe. As in the case of a 21-year-old Spanish student, Laura Gual, who had a very stingy boyfriend. He always invited her to places where she didn’t have to pay a penny and, if there was to be paid, it was always Laura who had to take out her wallet. One evening, her boyfriend surprised her by paying the disco bill, but the next day he showed up at her house with the invoice in hand, to get her money back.

A vision of avarice from the psychoanalytic point of view

In reality, stingy people are terrified and organize their lives from a control fantasy. According to psychoanalysis, this characteristic has to do with a difficulty in overcoming the anal phase (the second period of development of the child according to Freud’s model).

Usually when the child perceives the control phase of the sphincter functions as traumatic or excessively severe, he tends to develop an obsession with retaining what he possesses, avoid giving to others. In adult life, this translates into avarice as well as self-centeredness. Furthermore, stingy people are people who, in one way or another, end up using others for their own purposes.

For this reason they do not want to give anything and it is the others who have to put their hand to the wallet to pay the bill, even if the miser knows very well that those people earn less than him. He doesn’t even care if his behavior ends up damaging himself.

There are stingy people who die of cold in order not to spend money on heating; others become “ecologists” in order not to have to spend. What do we mean? A famous example is that of Leonardo Di Caprio who does not use his own plane to “not pollute” the environment, but does not mind using others’ private planes, as his friend Mark Wahlberg said.

coin operated robotic man

Being stingy means being locked in the prison of fear

Stingy people are trapped in their own fears. It can be someone with a depression and catastrophic fantasies. It is also possible that he has a personality that tends to exploit. They usually end up spending their lives alone and with a huge fortune saved, which ends up in the hands of the first one to pass.

Images courtesy of John Holcroft

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