“Tomorrow I start”, “It’s over”, “Today I say goodbye to all this junk food”, “Never again!”, “I can’t go on like this”, “I’m gaining weight”, “I have to change”, “I got a size plus ”,“ I don’t stop gaining weight ”. Do you recognize yourself in these expressions? Perhaps these are phrases that you repeat to yourself every day because they have made you believe that only you are the cause of your obesity.
Believe that you are solely responsible for your body. You appreciate yourself only in reference to your body image. You feel frustrated because your qualities are not sufficiently recognized by others.
It is possible that you feel even worse because you have a body that society does not accept. You know you need to change your lifestyle because health problems don’t stop appearing or doctors have warned you about the impending consequences of overweight. There are many reasons that can lead you to want to change your physical appearance.
From stress to despair
One day, in the desperation of change, all these thoughts appear in your head in a hasty and disordered way. At that precise moment you feel bad, you ask yourself why you have not done anything before and you point the finger at yourself, putting all the blame on yourself.
After all, you think you are the only ones responsible because you have been made to believe that change is easy and that you just have to have willpower.
Restrictive methods are the cause of your obesity
Despair leads you to not accept your body and, given the enormous responsibility you feel, you decide that you need an immediate change. In these cases, you want to adopt a weight loss method that meets two conditions. The first is to punish yourself for not thinking about it before. The second is to achieve impressive results in a short period of time. The sad reality is that these methods really exist and that many tend to choose the path of “punishment”.
These methods are presented as necessary and healthy. It is argued that one must be strong to carry out a weight loss program based on a sacrifice that seems excessive. Low calorie diets, strenuous exercise, absolute self-control, etc. We are sure that you already know these methods.
The cause of your obesity: the discomfort of the restriction
The discomfort your body causes you is great. You are desperate and immersed in a process whose harshness makes your dissatisfaction unbearable. It is an unsustainable situation. You can’t stand it anymore, everything seems impossible to you. The desperation to put an end to this pressure makes the process of change tougher, to the point that the discomfort goes beyond the physical sensations.
To the above, we must add that your self-esteem decreases day after day without you noticing it. You look at yourself and feel contempt for yourself. And this is not just about the relationship with your body, but also with your psyche. Do you know why?
The causes of your discomfort
- Every day, evaluate yourself only for the physical aspect. As if it were the only important element.
- You tell yourself that you have a bad body.
- Every day you try to change your body to make it look the way you want it to be and how others want it to be.
- When you try to modify your body, you do it in an unsustainable way. This is self-destructive.
- You are not able to follow the new discipline that you have imposed on yourself, but you do not notice it. Also, you think you can’t do it because you don’t feel strong enough.
- Every day you feel guilty because you can’t change and follow misleading messages like “anything is possible, you just have to want it!”.
- Every day the food you would like to refuse wins the battle. You need to eat to relieve your dissatisfaction and calm anxiety. The result is that the craving for food does not end and the relief is short.
- The message you send to yourself is that you are not capable, that you are the cause of your obesity, that you do not put in enough effort.
- You constantly repeat phrases like: “You can’t do it”, “You are not capable”, “You suck”, “You are a failure”.
A binge to alleviate the suffering
The discomfort becomes difficult to bear and to feel good let your guard down. Start eating anything you haven’t eaten in the previous days. And you do it in an anxious way, without joy and living this act with discomfort. You indulge in a real binge which, although physically unhealthy, gives you relief and calms you mentally for some time.
The cause of your obesity
Unfortunately, the relief was short-lived and now you feel guilty again. You feel guilty because you are unable to “do what needs to be done” to have a beautiful body and control the pressure and dissatisfaction that comes with it. You take the blame for everything.
The cycle starts again. You will feel pressured and you will find the motivation for change. You will adopt an unsustainable method again. You will not be able to bear it and you will binge to alleviate the state of profound dissatisfaction in which you will find yourself. Again, you will feel the guilt. And so the cycle will repeat itself making you feel worse each time.
They made you believe that you are the cause of your obesity. You feel so responsible that the pressure becomes unbearable. This leads you to choose methods to lose weight that are unsustainable and aggravate your situation. The solution is to break this vicious circle.
Putting aside the euphoria and adopting a more thoughtful, adequate and realistic approach does not mean returning to the beginning of the vicious circle and losing all the progress made, but maintaining the goals achieved.
What to do to break the vicious circle?
To break the vicious circle, pressure must be eliminated. It is equally important to have a realistic idea of yourself, to be responsible for your body and to understand its relevance to your life. At the same time, you need to be critical of the society around you and improve your inner dialogue.
You are worth more than your body or the parts of it you don’t like. You must understand that you are already beautiful like this. In this way, if you fail to succeed, your self-esteem will not be affected.
By facing the situation calmly, you will be able to initiate a process of healthy, progressive and sustainable change. It is advisable to choose a general model that, in addition to teaching you how to eat, also allows you to feel better.
Thanks to this, you will eliminate pressure, despair and dissatisfaction. You will not be forced to resort to food as the only source of well-being and, if you need it, you will know that “eating a lot to eat” sometimes has a protective effect. The binge will no longer have the results it used to be. The guilt will disappear and the vicious circle will be broken.