The Mistake Was Not Knowing You, But Thinking You Were Different

The mistake wasn't knowing you, but thinking you were different

Those who love make no mistakes, because the act of loving makes us noble, it is a pure, authentic and instinctive act. However, when we love someone who doesn’t deserve it, who isn’t what they led us to believe in the beginning, we feel bad.

Loving the wrong person is a serious hindrance from which we rarely get out unscathed. However, it is necessary to gather strength and ignite the flame of our self-esteem to make a comeback. We must prevent ourselves from suffering for love, we must love our broken parts to find our space in solitude and heal.

In these times characterized by the dominance of social networks and virtual apps to find a partner, a very particular phenomenon is taking place. There are people who have the feeling that they are always falling in love with the wrong person. They continue to believe in love and go crazy to find the right person, to love her and to feel loved and respected in turn.

The Apps we have mentioned offer us a very interesting option: that of applying a filter according to interests and characteristics. This gives us a feeling of control over what we want and what we don’t want; it is as if we were trying to find the perfect formula. Nonetheless, specialists in the field of emotional relationships have very clear ideas: love is not an algorithm.

Being wrong every now and then in love is basically a law of life. But sometimes, between the chaos and the unexpected, comes what we longed for. A mature, conscious and happy relationship. We must never lose hope. We invite you to reflect on it.

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The false expectations we create for ourselves or with the help of others

We said it at the beginning of the article: loving is never a mistake. People breathe, learn, love, cry, laugh and move on. The wheel of life invites us to experience and be part of this intense and wonderful movement in which we cannot escape from our nature, from our essence. Obviously, the problem lies in continuing to love those who do not love us.

It is often said that people do not change, and that, in reality, they have never been what we thought. Somehow, they all change a bit based on certain experiences; however, the roots always remain, they are always there. It happens that sometimes we do not see them and, therefore, we create false expectations that do not fit into reality.

Does this mean that the responsibility of loving someone who does not deserve it is always ours? What are we the naive who build castles in the air? Absolutely not. In an interesting book entitled “The solutions of marriage in 7 minutes”, it is explained that false expectations in couple relationships are created and fed in an egalitarian way.

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There are those who, anxious to find happiness, feed on these castles in the air, to the point of seeing virtues where there is nothing but disguised selfishness. But there are also those who are avid specialists in feeding false expectations.

These latter individuals do so for very specific purposes. On the one hand, they want to avoid loneliness at all costs; on the other hand, they want to guarantee an occasional relationship, when in reality they show that they want something lasting.

Loving is not a mistake, continuing to love the wrong person is

We don’t have to live with the bitterness of having loved someone who didn’t deserve it. We must be proud because we have loved and because we have let ourselves go. Because loving makes us noble and being able to close a stage makes us wise. We must not even self-flagellate ourselves for having known certain people, beings who have chosen to bring us tears, falsehoods and blackmail.

To live means to learn and, sometimes, to meet great masters and skilled artisans of poisoned love. If we get past these individuals and beat them, we will walk with more elegance. With more dignity and integrity. After all, in topics related to the world of affection, we never stop learning, because the best treatment for the wounded soul is to accept these life lessons in which the only valid principle is this:

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Pablo Neruda used to say “I fell in love with life, it is the only one who won’t leave me without me doing it first”. It is obvious that we must not go to the extreme, but  few things are as healthy as holding on to the journey of life, which gives us and takes away from us so much.

We learn something from every mistake and every person we meet along the way leaves us a little bit of themselves. The important thing is to move forward remembering that love will always be worthwhile if we take care of the captain of this wonderful ship: ourselves.

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