To My Father, The Person Who Taught Me To Face Life

To my father, the person who taught me to face life

Children do not come into the world with the instruction manual, yet my father was able to overcome every obstacle and every difficulty becoming the wisest and most important person in my life. In my heart the memory of all his hugs, his resounding laughter and those affectionate looks he always reserved for me is still alive, while in silence he worried about me.

It is curious how most of the studies carried out in the past on the figure of the father have not received the recognition they deserved. Somehow, they focused only on this figure as the economic pillar of the family or as that “present, but at the same time absent” figure who did not integrate into the existence of their children.

Everyone knows that there are different types of fathers, just like mothers. Some mothers are dangerous, others exceptional. There are fathers who are not at all capable and sensitive, but also authentic everyday heroes. People who lead by example, who inspire and who deliver happy children to the world. Responsible adults who see role models in their parents.

Nowadays we are trying to recover the father figure. There are now several studies that put aside the concept of “monotropic addiction”, which implied the child’s need for the necessary maternal closeness to grow and develop. Today, the correct development implies the presence of more figures.

Our fathers are those fundamental figures whose value deserves to be recognized. Whether they are long gone or are still by our side. We all know what the skin of their heart is made of: courage, silent sacrifice and an exciting pride for their children.

dad with little girl

The father present, the father as an emotional figure

We must not see the act of raising a child as a gender-separated activity. Sometimes even in everyday language this practice is evident. “My partner helps me with all the chores, he’s a great dad.” A father not

it helps

, a father is an integral and fundamental part of all family dynamics. Because the maintenance and management of a family unit is not the property of just one, but it is the responsibility of both parents.

As a fact to be taken into consideration, according to the findings of the Spanish Institute of Statistics, the figure of single fathers is a rapidly growing reality. In fact, in countries like the United Kingdom, the percentage reaches 23%. In 1993 the number of single fathers worldwide reached 9%, nowadays 14%. These are single-parent families where men care for the children. They are the ones who educate and raise their children with the same effectiveness and happiness as the mother figure.

The arrival of a child and the biochemical changes in the father

On the other hand, believe it or not, dad’s brains also undergo changes with the arrival of a baby. It is not only the woman who experiences the hormonal changes that are so important to start breastfeeding and create a bond with the new born. Human brain structures also have a complex “network of affection”. In this way, exactly the same emotional and cognitive participation factors are activated that are activated in women.

dad and daughter

There are many studies that show us different and curious aspects in this regard. Seeing one’s partner in the company of the child generates a series of very evident hormonal changes in the father. Even the simple fact of holding your newborn baby in your arms and smelling him increases the production of oxytocin, prolactin, glucocorticoids, as well as a drop in testosterone.

In this way, an indestructible union is generated, of the same strength and intensity as that which binds the child to the mother.

For every sacrifice, for every sleepless night, for being there… thank you dad

A father does not have a cloak, he is not a superhero, much less does he perform magic or can make us touch the moon by throwing us into the air. Yet he lets us believe it, and consequently, we believe it . Because one of his main concerns is to make us believe that nothing is impossible, that we are able to achieve whatever goal we set ourselves.

Not all fathers are equally good at expressing their affection, we know. Nonetheless, they will stand guard at the foot of your bed when you are sick. They will be the guardian angels of your dreams when you are assailed by nightmares and the person willing to do anything to offer you shelter when it rains. For them there are no timetables when you ask them something, and it is completely irrelevant how old you are … because in their eyes, you are and always will be someone to protect and care for, before anything else.

dad-with-daughter-2

A father’s love builds our personality. It offers us values ​​to integrate and imitate, a way of interpreting life based on courage and sacrifice, on loving without asking for anything in return. Above all, it is the bond that has been able to satisfy our emotional needs to define the courageous and mature person we are now.

We all carry the sign of our fathers within us. It is a treasure that survives, that nourishes us and gives us strength. So don’t hesitate, and if you still have a chance to spend time with your father, do it. Because one day you will wake up and you will no longer have time to tell him all the things you felt and felt for him. Tell them now.

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