What comes from the heart does not always reach others. We all realized it at least once: to do something for another person, with enormous affection, and be rewarded with indifference. It is as if goodness, far from being a universal language, is lost in strange dialects.
In this case, we are not just talking about the dissonance between what one gives and the other receives. We also refer to that desolating feeling of another’s heart that does not see, hear and perceive what others do for him. We know that love is invisible, but if others don’t sense it through our actions, it’s as if, somehow, nothing makes sense.
Some behavioral and business science experts tell us that, in reality, goodness is a disadvantage to social success. Somehow, a good person who always acts honestly will jump from disappointment to disappointment in this complex river of competitiveness that defines the modern world.
We know this. However, many continue to decide to do so. Because goodness, doing things with the heart, is a personal value in which it is worth investing time and effort. Nor can we deny that disappointments hurt.
It hurts the bitterness of not feeling recognized, because no one acts selfishly when they hope that their partner, family or their best friend will perceive those small gestures made with love. Because, at times, to love means to give up and even this concession is made sincerely. Although the hearts of others are tuned to other frequencies, to other channels …
The noble heart and its island of solitude
When someone does something with their heart, they harmonize multiple dimensions. It shows its identity, the value of reciprocity, the desire to do good, to bring well-being, joy and enthusiasm to others. The person who acts with goodness should actually feel affirmed, seeing that all the energy invested in doing good works. That his purpose has a useful purpose. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
Far from being a congruence between what one does and what one hopes to find, what often occurs is an injustice. We could give many examples. We could talk about an old man who, in the past, did everything for his children and who is now rewarded with loneliness. A teenager who tries to integrate into a group with respect and affection, but is treated by his peers with contempt and teasing.
Nor can we forget the couple who give importance to small gestures, who prioritize the happiness of the person they love, who cares, who builds, who invests … If none of this is seen, if nothing is valued, that love it is not needed. It is not fair. It must be reformulated or dissolved.
Whoever does things with his heart and is not recognized ends up living, little by little, in his island of solitude. In some ways, we end up looking like Prospero, the character from William Shakespeare’s The Tempest. Someone who, after being wounded by adversity and betrayal, ends up confined on a lonely island, in the company of his daughter, in a spiritual world where, inevitably, the only protagonist is sadness.
Live with integrity: don’t give up who you are
Undoubtedly, one feels alone. However, sometimes, acting honestly comes with a price, and if the price is disillusionment, we will have to accept it. It will always be better to be yourself than to live in the incongruity of going against our roots. Our authentic self.
Well, to survive in this complex world – and every day in every relationship – it is advisable to integrate a series of emotional and cognitive “anchors” to grab onto to avoid collateral damage. Because goodness is not synonymous with naivety, but with the courage of those who are faithful to their heart.
We don’t have to turn into complacent professionals
: there is no greater form of suffering than that of those who try to make everyone happy.
Never go against your needs
to act according to what others expect of you. Life isn’t that complicated.
It is not good to obsess
to be rewarded for everything we do . Goodness does not require a reward, since it is enough for it to act in harmony with its values.
Remember that continually giving yourself to others does not increase your self-esteem.
Sometimes it forces you to bury your ambitions. So, don’t hesitate to give yourself to yourself every now and then. You will gain in health and personal balance.
- You also understand that
who is blind to the small gestures of daily love, will also be blind to everything else
. Because true love doesn’t need great demonstrations to be recognized.
The art of loving is wise when you give weight to the little things, those that come from the heart …