Years Of School Education, But We Don’t Know How To Love Each Other

Years of school education, but we don't know how to love each other

Uncertain. Unsuitable. Hyperactive. With little motivation. Cheeky. There are many, many labels that our children receive during their school education. On the other hand, there are few glances that stop to understand what emotion is hidden behind each difficult pupil.

It is curious that in business or political environments, Emotional Intelligence is considered essential and structural for every professional, while Educational Institutions, which are backward on this front , do not consider it a skill to be strengthened.

The burden of cognitive abilities continues to be essential for the school system. Emotions, on the other hand, are seen as a “taboo” that is best limited to the private sphere, in the solitude of every child intent on knowing himself in an increasingly complex world.


A school education that forms minds, but not people

Today’s children and adolescents are skilled strategists of new technologies. The emoticons in their text messages are often the only approach to the world of emotions. However, when they move away from their cell phones, they are unable to handle or prevent situations such as bullying, for example.

BegoƱa Ibarrola, a psychologist and researcher, tells us that in the institutions that have integrated Emotional Intelligence in the classroom and in the school curriculum, cases of bullying have disappeared and school performance has significantly improved. It is good luck, there is no doubt .


If we now ask ourselves why this transformation so necessary for our education is not initiated, we must consider the following aspects and reflect for a moment:

  • The drafting of the programs is in many cases determined by a political trend, and each chooses the curriculum that it considers most appropriate.
  • The weight of the cognitive factor continues to be deeply rooted in our school system, despite theories such as “Gardner’s multiple intelligences” indicate a clear need to work on  children’s emotional intelligence early on.

We must also consider that

any institutional change takes time

. A clear social awareness is necessary, because investing in emotions means investing in coexistence, in learning to be more inclined to human relationships, to respect and to that different point of view in which one leaves aside the need to educate children who are perfect for train happy people.


We educate unique children, not identical pupils

In a changing society like the present one and with a very high professional competition, it is not much use to train equal pupils, specialized in the same subjects. It is necessary to make human value prevail, to enhance the natural abilities of the child so that he can discover the best part of himself by himself and offer it to the world so that “it is unique” .

One thing to keep in mind is that many times we let the whole burden of a child’s education fall on educational institutions. It is an erroneous point of view: we are all active educators, the family is an essential and suitable environment to be strongly taken into consideration.

The family: first scenario of Emotional Intelligence

From the field of neuroscience they leave us no doubt: the emotional and favorable context in which the child will grow up in his first years of life will largely determine his subsequent development, including his personality.

  • Gratitude, reciprocity, secure attachment and emotional communication are pillars that will allow the child to grow in freedom and maturity.
  • If you want to give birth to a child who can respect others, listen and use affection before aggression, be a model. Keep your words, judgments and actions at bay; be his best example.

The school: a microcosm of the social context

The school for the child will represent a clear example of that world with which he will have to face tomorrow. The relationships with his peers and with the authoritarian figures (teachers and professors) will serve him to acquire new and important skills.

  • It has been shown that in institutions where emotionally healthy habits and tools are adopted, children are very receptive to such knowledge.
  • They assimilate them day after day because they see that they are functional, that they are useful strategies with which they can improve their relationships and be more assertive when it comes to preventing attacks or making friends.
  • Emotional Intelligence is transformed into a habit capable of optimizing learning, of channeling anxiety or nerves. All this leads to an improvement in academic results and a strengthening of the personality. A truly encouraging figure.

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